Breaking the Spiral of Attacking & Defending and Defending & Attacking

Back in 1981, while an employee at Motorola, I had a chance to work with Neil Rackham and John Carlisle of the Huthwaite organization – of SPIN Selling fame and Win-Win Negotiations.

In both their Sales and Negotiations programs, that they had back then – the issue of getting caught up in a “Defend-Attack Spiral” was addressed.

I’ve posted and written articles about this before.

One thing I also learned in 1981

There is No Such Thing as Communications – Only Miscommunications – This 4 page PDF – was originally published in 2000 in my quarterly newsletter, but I had written it back in the mid-1990s.

It covered the 4 key Communications Behaviors that I had learned from Neil and John – that I near/far transferred for “communications, negotiations, and interviewing” in my own consulting practices – whether 1:1 or in my Facilitated Group Process – where – misunderstanding often took place.

And then ISPI asked me if they could republish it in their May-June 2000 edition of their newsletter: News & Notes: – and here is a 3-page PDF from that issue: There’s No Such Thing As Communications – News & Notes May-June 2000 Guy W Wallace

I’ve updated it since then – when I started my third consulting firm as I went solo in 2002…

If we only started every communications exchange with the premise that


we’d all be better off.

Because we’d almost always be entering into a series of Q&A in order to Seek Information, Summarize, and Test Understanding.

And getting closer to Nirvana, in our communications anyway.


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